How much is it worth? how about a nice handful of your own teeth?

I had another of those odd experiences that remind me of several gradual changes that have occurred, culminating in my current curmudgeonliness. I was work-bound and mass transit-trapped, the mouth breathers closing in as the morning commute count grew, and a perky little feller just felt bound to lean in close to me and say, "You should smile, Miss!"

"Really? How much are you gonna pay me?" I asked.

He didn't say anything, and I didn't feel like going into it with Sparky the Cheerleader of the 12-Sandy to City Center. But that's a big part of my shift over the last 10 years. I actually used to love people, and customer service and teaching and all that kind of random public interaction. Now, after roughly 20 years of smiling for money, I do not wish to smile at anyone outside my family and friends unless I am getting paid. It seems a smile at strangers is akin to a bullseye for the freaky, needy, and unstable to find you.

I used to honestly believe that most people are mostly good, blah blah blah. Now, having managed a sizeable crew, one of whom is still in jail for her crimes and a couple who probably should be, and especially after less than a year in a union, here is my impression of Most People:
Immoral, lazy, selfish, illiterate, and possibly incontinent. And they will need to cross my palm with some gold for a smile. I've not gone all cynical, though--I still believe that somehow we have the ability to not completely fuck things up as a race and that we can figure out a lot of the problems we face and will survive, as a race, more or less ok. Macrocosmically, what happens is we get a good leader here or there (and I'm not talking about the President so much as your local city and state politicos and committees) who essentially function as benevolent dictators and make decisions that no one opposes because we're all so freakin' thrilled someone else is managing things that we just roll over and piddle ourselves in glee. This same process is generally how the Evil Among Us rise to power, however, so it's not fool proof. It's why I think it doesn't matter more than shit or shinola who is President. Everything that matters happens in your city, at your level, and on your watch.

Is there anyone else who would like to see a little less government going on? I mean, yay whoo Barack what-the-fuck-ever, I have no problem with him that I wouldn't have with any other spend-happy politician, and it was "nice" to have our national emotions proud and hopeful for once, and yes, I do think he's better than the current, DUH. But that's like saying ptomaine is a better option than cyanide, because it's less likely to completely kill you. You know what? I'm against the State recognition of gay marriage. But I'm also against the recognition of het marriage by the State. Frankly, the State has no business in my house for any reason, whether to determine the nature and solidity of my relationships or set a tax rate based on those relationships and/or my ability or desire to breed. Flat tax, baby, government fix the roads, maintain a military force sufficient to protect our borders, and then cut it the fuck out. Smaller organizations are much better equipped to provide social services, and you know what? When did taking care of everyone become the responsibility of the government? When we started paying them to take care of our sick, our elderly, our addicted, our fucked up, our neglected, we got the bad end of the bargain. It's not that I don't believe all people don't deserve care and the best life they can have, it's that I don't believe the government is a good, efficient vehicle for delivery of anything.

Ok. End rant, more later. The gist of my mood for today, however, is that my smile comes at a price, and most stranger folks really don't want to pay it. It's why I don't carry a gun.